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During the last 24 hours you were compared by your friends 3 times. They assigned you 2 wins in: 'who has prettier eyes', 'who is more attractive'.

I care.
But I really don't.

Life as we know it.
I've got no friends.
I've got friends.
I've got no friends to hang out with.
I've got close friends.
We're just busy.
Well, you are.
I am.
Your excuses are more appealing.
I seem to always be accepting.
Regardless.

Best Regards,
.
Someday.
Things will fall into place.
Pieces are scattered far.veryfar.
I'll be traveling though.
I've got to find all these pieces.
I'll try to put things back together.
I'm trying.now.
Hard?
I think I'd say that.
You may disagree.
You always will.
I've come to accept that.
I'm not living for you though.
You have to do that for yourself.

OPEN
your eyes.
Changing stories.
The view from this side.
It's not what I thought it'd be.
Second guessing.
Everything.
All the time.
I can't figure out why.
I have nothing in my life.
Nothing sure fire.
Sure fire?
I can't find differences in things.
Is anything real?
I can't tell.
I'm losing touch with reality.
I'm moderately concerned.
Some part of me is.
I just can't commit.

I think there's love out there.
For me?
I'm not quite sure.
I hope.
I've experienced it.
Again?
I don't know.
One day?
Meh...

I'm finally home.
GLORIOUS!

Read my blog from the trip:

http://fromthestartof.blogspot.com

You may enjoy it.

Would it kill you to breath easy
Only seventeen miles lay between you and me
I could make it if I had to
I don’t break easily
You’ve got my counsel thick as thieves
If there’s a crime, we’ll keep it secret
For there’s only trace amounts left in your blood

You may be a sinner, but you may be justified

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I’ll make it right

Will it kill me to breath
Not as easy as you think it is
Between you and me
I could fake it if I have to
I don’t break easily
I need your counsel thick as thieves
I have no crime to keep a secret
It was hers it was not mine

Well I may be a sinner, but it wasn’t me this time

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I’ll make it right

Well listen to yourself
There is a hemorrhage in your mouth
It won’t stop bleeding

Well, you may be the traitor
I will hold the smoking gun
You’ll get away clean
I’ll keep your secrets
Till the grave has swallowed me
And I will never tell a tortured soul
That are burning by my side
That I am a sinner, I am a savior, I am alive

So keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I’ll make it right

Finished up some e-mails and cd recordings and then the night actually began. My brother and myself killed a small bottle of Captain. We drove out to the lake that's literally 50 feet from our hotel. No roads, no traffic, no noise, no company. It was quite peaceful. Sat in the grass under the stars. We both said a lot of things that would never have been said sober. It was something I'll remember for the rest of my life. My brother has been through a plethora of bad shit. I don't know how he continues to hold his composure so well. I'll figure out his ways though. A few more drunken nights and early mornings will hold things together. I haven't spent time with him as my brother in 4 years. It's been a nice awakening to know he actually thinks like me. We have the same feelings on the same subjects in life. Ever since he joined, I always doubted his intelligence. That was completely wrong of me.

You'll probably see quite a few updates in these next few days. I'm in front of my computer for hours on end managing my table/booth. I don't really have much else to do except for making masters and I've already completed today's work.

Is there anything you'd like to know about me?

I've never really said anything to anyone about this, but it's quite annoying to hang out with someone and they constantly text someone else. I suppose the person on the other end of those digital waves is far more important than the surf at your own shore.
Enough of that.

I'm content with some things in my life.
I'm content without some things in my life.
I'm just floating.
I wish I had some good direction.
I have ideas.
I have thoughts.
I have paper.
I have a pen.
I'm at a loss of direction.
I'm at a loss of words.
Life really could have been different.
I know I would not have been happy.
I'm on the path to happYness though.
Sooner or later, I'll discover what I have to offer.
The things this planet has to offer.
The things I have to offer.
It will all come in time.
I'm in no rush.

Continue to enforce all of these negative feelings.
It will get you exactly what you want.
Nothing.

I'm not happy.
Nor am I sad.
I'm just here.
Trying to figure things out.

-Tyler

So, I moved.
I'm enjoying everything, but most of all the neighbors are quite pleasant.
What a concept, aye?
Life is going in a decent direction.
I'm happy with the things I'm doing.
School/work/money/bills.
That's life.

I'm glad we got this place.
It's brand new which means we're the first to live here.
No one has done it in my shower, which is nice to know.

I haven't updated LJ in quite a long time.
I mostly stick to pen and paper now-a-days.
Not really the one to just put my business out there anymore.
But if the occasion seems right, I'll post a space blog.
Even so, it's normally just for EP.
She enjoys reading the things I write.
She'll even comment them back.
We even talk about the things going on in my life.
It's crazy.
Oh wait.

I guess I should let you know that it was a lie.
I did not spend any of my tax return on alcohol.
It was just a joke.
It was fun.
I suppose you should know though.
I'm not spending money I don't have on useless things.

ALSO, I'm really not down for making fun of people.
No one deserves to be laughed at.
People are different.
It's ignorant to laugh because of that.
It's just ridiculous.
Accept people for who they are.
There's no reason to better yourself by making someone feel like shit.
Just to let you know, you're not bettering yourself.

I think I'll be gone next year.
I'll have enough saved up.
We're all going.
It'll be SWEEET.

Love life.
Seriously.
You only get one.

update is on the behalf of my room mate Danny. We were talking and he said if he had an LJ, he would use these upcoming statements as an update topic:

"You know what, I've figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to be a radio-talk-show host. Me and Flea. 'Hey fuckers!; it's danny and flea.' That's how we would introduce ourselves. Fuck the bullshit. I just want to talk on the radio."

So, that's what's going on in my life.
I missed Elizabeth this Sunday, and it's been a while since Kim and myself worked on our list of Christmas movies.
Hang out with me sometime?

"Attention, all of my worst critics
Who were once the best of friends,
You're all just crows on the power lines."

I remember when a number of these repeated songs contained meaning to me.
I guess the it has faded. Just remember to breathe. I keep telling myself that.
I woke up feeling weird.
I know exactly what it is too.
I can feel the weather changing my lifestyle soon.
Just be here for me for whatever happens? Good, or bad.
That's all I can bring myself to ask from you.

Deal?